Motherhood

I have had a lot on my heart lately regarding motherhood, regarding home schooling. People ask me all the time "what made you decide to home school". That question honestly makes me sweat a little. I'm even scared to post this! I have a lot of answers to that question but I am so terrified of offending the person that asked me that my answer is usually "well, it's just something that we felt God called our family too". While that is a truthful statement there is so much more to it. It's not because I think the public school system is horrible (although I'm not really a fan of it :) ) , or that I want to shelter my kids. I love being a mommy. I love it with every ounce of my being, and I feel like this is the exact job that God made me for. He made me to be a mommy to Aubrey, Adalyn, Avery and Landon. He gave Jeff and I the job to teach our children. This is my ministry, this is where I am supposed to pour my heart out and this job is so fulfilling to me. I feel like if I send them off most days, all day that I am going to have a hard time ministering to them and teaching them the way I feel led to do. Even though it leaves me exhausted and many times it leads me to tears and frustration, it is what God made me for. I fully believe that. He entrusted me to these four little souls and asked me to guide them, to teach them, to love them, to sympathize with them, to connect with them, to pour His love into them on a daily basis. I tell Jeff that I feel like my time is no longer my own and that is the truth! I have the hardest time finding time to clean, to read, to shop, to be crafty. I know that's just part of the sacrifice. I have had to set my agenda aside,  set my to do list aside and stop making these unrealistic expectations of what I need to accomplish in one day. I have to make myself available to those four little ones that are constantly at my side, to read to them, to play with them and to connect with them every day. You know that's all our kids want from us. They want us, they want our time. They really don't want to watch tv, or play computer games etc. They want their mommy and daddy to sit face to face with them and talk and play and read. I have to constantly remind myself of this all day every day!I want them to grow up to become confident, independent adults who love God and become wholehearted followers of Him. This is what He called me to do, to raise these four to become followers of Him so that He might use them to bring others to Him. Eternity always has to be the goal! Jeff and I are the ones that are supposed to teach our children about God's unlimitedless love. That is how He designed it. So I must devote my time to them, I must devote my time to God, to allow Him to pour His truths into my heart so I can then pour it into my kids.   It's hard, most definitely it's hard. But I am so thankful that God did call us onto this journey and I would not have it any other way. I constantly thank God for allowing me to be home with my kids and to have the priviledge to be their teacher, their friend, their confidant, and their mommy. So that's my answer.

 Here is a glimpse into how many of my days go. There is some dirty laundry on the floor in my bedroom, and this day my kids never made it out of pj's, but here they all are. The big girls were reading and singing to Landon and Avery was trying to put Hello Kitty sunglasses on him. Good thing I was there to save him from that! Love these four.

I am by no means a perfect mommy. I am sinful human being that constantly makes mistakes, uses harsh words and looses my temper. But I serve a faithful God who forgives me, sympathisizes and allows me to try again day after day.