I know that I am not the only mom out there who truly looks forward to Saturdays! A day when I'm not alone in my parenting all day, another adult to talk to and just to be a complete family. When Friday's come around it's like a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm almost there! Right? Any other momma out there feel this way? So Friday is not really the best time for my very sweet husband to break the news to me that he is going to go bike riding for a couple of hours on Saturday morning. Now I get that we all need some time, something out of the ordinary, doing something we love. I get it, and I need it as well. But Friday, ouch! I honestly feel like I need at least a weeks notice to brace myself. Anyone, anyone?!?!
So this particular Saturday, my very dear husband decided to go for a bike ride with his best friend. This was decided sort of on Friday, but made final on SATURDAY! Yes Saturday! When the news was broken to me I really wanted to handle it like a big girl, but I just let my frustration fester inside. I go into this mode of "I can do everything and I don't need any help", like I'm paying him back or something. Ha! But nope, it just makes it that much harder on myself. I've been married for a few years now so I know how to handle these types of situations. But my little stubborn self took over for the next few hours. Had I stopped at any point and communicated my frustration then I could have just skipped this next part. In the midst of my pride and selfishness, God had a great lesson for me to learn. Doesn't He always! It's always in that embarrassing moment when you actually have to admit you were selfish and prideful to learn the lesson. Ugh!
We decided that we were going to go swimming at our friends house (the one that Jeff was going to ride with) on this particular day, so he said it should work out perfectly because they would only be gone for about an hour and a half, (this didn't take into account the hour drive over there, but who is really counting right?). Also, I was out of swim diapers. Jeff told me he would follow me to the store, sit with the kids while I ran in and bought some. But remember that part about "I can do everything, and I don't need any help"? Well that girl decided to step in. So I told him to just go ahead and go and I would take care of the diapers. I didn't really give him a choice though, I just did it. I mean, how hard could it be anyway, to run in and pick up some swim diapers with 5 kids in tow. Not only did I think I could just handle this, piece of cake right, I also thought it was wise to go in with NO SHOPPING CART! Okay, I have a 10 month old AND a two year old with me (not to mention the 4, 6 and 7 year old). I have been doing this parenting thing of toddlers and babies for a while and I know the drill. I know... don't EVER go into a grocery store without a cart when you have a two year old in tow! But nonetheless I did it. I thought I knew exactly where the swim diapers were. I would grab them, pay and go buckle everyone back up. Just like that! So, we get in the store, 10 month old on my hip, holding the hand of the two year old. We walk to where I believe the swim diapers are located. That's when the two year old decides he no longer wants to hold my hand because he sees this great display of cups. No worries, the 7 year old, who often believes she is also mommy, grabbed a hold of his hand and literally dragged him to where I was. That never works well, an older sibling taking control of a younger one. So he then started screaming "no" at her. I gave her that look and told her very sternly to let go of him immediately. I continue looking up and down the aisle for those dang swim diapers, and they are nowhere to be found! At this point, the two year old spots the coloring books and decides he must have one or maybe two and he is NOT leaving the aisle without one. I took care of this situation just like a mature mom with a baby on her hip does. I grabbed that little hand and dragged him behind me, even as he went limp. Now, I have a screaming two year old dragging behind me, a baby on my hip and three other girls keeping absolutely silent but walking incredibly close because they recognize that mommy is just about at that breaking point. Up and down two aisles I go, looking at end caps, because I refuse to leave this store without the diapers. This is when that sweet 7 year old who sometimes thinks she is on the parent's team piped up and said, "maybe you could ask someone where they are mommy?". Breathe... The two year old is now really loud, people are staring, and my introverted self is feeling really self conscious. That's when I threw in the towel. I said forget it and we walked out of the store with no swim diapers in hand. Don't worry, the story isn't over yet! We get to the van (just barely), the two year old is STILL screaming about the beloved coloring books. I buckle the baby and the two year old, and then the four year old decides that she cannot possibly get in her car seat to buckle unless somebody holds her purse. The 7 and 6 year olds think it would be a great time to ignore her. I get to my seat, trying to compose myself and not burst into tears. The four year old gets louder and louder while asking the same question over and over again, "will somebody please hold my purse?". Still ...crickets from the older two. Then the four year old yells "WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE HOLD MY PURSE?!" In which I respond like a responsible mother would "SOMEBODY HOLD HER PURSE!!!". And now I made them cry.... and now I made myself cry. I may have yelled something else at this point about "trying to do something fun for you guys and take you swimming", because it always helps to heap guilt onto your children. Ugh, it was ugly, it was not a good mommy moment, in fact it was a really really bad mommy moment. I did apologize and asked them to forgive me later that afternoon. But still, it was all because I listened to the lie that Jeff was out to get me and that he didn't appreciate me and all that I do all week long, (literally the weekend before this happened he gave me the whole weekend off for a roommate reunion with my college roomies. I think he appreciates me!). We did enjoy the remainder of our day swimming as a family and with friends, so it all worked out in the end and turned into an enjoyable Saturday!
As I pondered all that took place over the next few days, I laughed a little at my ridiculousness and my embarrassing mommy moment. Then I realized how true this same circumstance can be in my own walk with God. How many times has he had a perfect plan for me? All He asked of me was to just to trust Him and obey, but instead I chose my own way and because of that I really chose the harder way. It's one of those lessons that I learn over and over again. His plan is always best, because He loves me more than I can comprehend and He always wants what is best for me. That Saturday, Jeff wanted what was best for me, he wanted to help me because he knew that it was just way too much to drag all the kids into the store for swim diapers. He offered his help and had I took him up on it that whole scenario never would have happened. But because I was being selfish and letting anger get the best of me, I chose a much harder path. The devil always make "that other path" seem so much more appealing and so much more satisfying, but in the end it's never what is best.
Remember John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."
He wants us to have a full abundant life, but we must walk closely with Him. If we aren't walking with Him each moment we may not recognize which path is from Him. I don't know about you, but I want to follow His leading, His path!
Proverbs 3:6 "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
We are all human. We each make mistakes every day no matter how hard we try! Our souls are tempted every day by the evil one. He tells us we are insufficient or unworthy of the extravagant love of a Savior. Unfortunately we often act in that unbelief. He says in 2 Corinthians 12 :9 " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." He covers us perfectly in our weakness!
Selfishness squeezes it's ugly head into my life way too often, but I am so very blessed to serve a God whose mercies are new every morning.
Lamentations 3: 22-23
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness."
I am also blessed to be loved by a man here on earth who, even through my stubbornness, loves me anyway and loves me way more than I deserve.
Monday, July 27, 2015
One of those moments...
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
My Sweet 9 Month Old
Little Lynlee Noelle is well on her way to that one year mark! I can't believe it. But she had a very active 9th month, full of all sorts of new things. This baby of mine is such a treasure. I know I say it often but she just makes me smile. Her giggle is incredibly contagious, and the whole family enjoys those giggles. She is crawling everywhere these days, and especially loves to put everything and anything in her mouth. She gives me a heart attack often, and unfortunately I have dug all sorts of things out of her mouth lately! She loves to be free and have the ability to go where ever she pleases. She still likes her jumperoo okay, but definitely prefers to roam. Just two weeks ago I found her pulling up to standing on her own. Now her favorite thing to do! She loves pulling up in her crib and by the windows. It's too cute! She definitely prefers to be with mommy or daddy, and has been refusing her bottles from our babysitter and at the church nursery! What?!?! She loves her bath, and loves to be in the pool. She just splashes and giggles the entire time! She babbles and blows raspberries constantly. Even when I'm feeding her, which is never fun, especially when she is eating blueberries. She has now dropped to just two naps a day now, one more sign that she is getting so close to that year mark! Lynlee Noelle, you are just a complete joy. You make me smile from the first moment I see you each morning. You are such a cuddler and I love all of the sweet hugs I get from you. You are just my little treasure, my extra little bonus gift from God and I am so thankful that you are mine. I love you sweet girl!
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
A Very Great Daddy
A few weeks ago my very brave and adventurous husband took our three big girls on their very first camping trip. They are still talking about it! It was a great memory I know they will remember forever. The moment that they arrived home they were already planning and talking about the next time. Jeff really hit it out of the park when he did this for the girls. I was so proud of him! Not to mention, I had a great break with just the two little ones!
He even took some sweet pictures of the girlies.
The other night we went for a little family walk after dinner. Landon insisted on wearing his helmet even though he wasn't riding his bike (which is pink by the way, ha!). He just looked cute and he loved being with Daddy.
A typical Sunday night at our house usually ends at the neighborhood pool! It's a favorite around here. This particular night was Lynlee's first night in the pool. She loved it! Daddy and all his kiddos.
We are blessed to be loved and lead by this man! We love you Jeffrey!
Wrapping up the School year
Honestly, we still have a couple of weeks left until we are officially done with 1st and 2nd grade, but that's beside the point. This year has been a strange one, with adding another one to the family, so it's definitely taken us a lot longer to get through everything, but that's one of the beauties of home schooling. I love having the freedom to go at our own pace.
A few activities we are involved in had some end of the year programs and we were so proud of our girls for all of their hard work.
Super Friday is such a great program and we are so thankful to have access to this ministry to the home schoolers in our area. Starting in 2nd grade you get to choose electives, so both semesters Aubrey had some really great classes that she got to take. Cooking, music, fit kids, American Girl, Chimes (hand bells) and sewing. Her chimes class had a short performance of a few of the songs they had learned. She was so cute up there, and so proud of herself. Jeff and I loved getting to watch her! It was a little comical, I must admit. In the songs that she performed in she only had one MAYBE two notes that she got to play. But she was just beaming and we were so proud of her little notes she played!
Choir is another great program we are so thankful for. All three girls were a part this year and love spending their Wednesday nights at choir.
We were especially proud of sweet little Avery this year. At her Christmas program she refused to go on stage which was rather frustrating, especially to Daddy. But through much prayer and encouragement she fought for some courage and went on stage. Halfway through the performance though, poor girl just covered her face and started crying. We were so proud of her though for trying her best and actually getting on stage!
So proud of her though!
Aubrey and Adalyn did a great job singing all of their songs. They also got to be a part of a dance for one song. Cute girls up there and two super proud parents!
My cute girls! Love them so very much.
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